Forgiveness?!?

Today's affirmation: I will forgive today and I will be free.....

Today I will forgive all those people I resent and move on to a new freedom. My resentment inhibits my energy and blocks my spirit. The rage that seethes within me affects my physical well-being.

Today I concentrate on forgiveness. I do not let my rage and resentment flood out of control. I will not be blinded by emotional intensity and separate from my true strengths.

Today I will release all rage and resentment and regain my spirit by forgiving all these people I resent. I will no longer carry excess baggage on my journey through recovery.

Today's affirmation reminds me of step 8: "made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all." and

step 9: "made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

When I first learned of these steps I believed this this only applied to the alcoholic. As Adult Children, I think we should forgive ourselves for putting up with the dysfunction as we did. If we grew up in parental dysfunction the abuse and alcoholism was not our fault and we didn't have the choice to get out of that toxic environment. We can forgive those who have harmed us if we choose to at least release any held grudges and bad feelings but we don't have to! There are people in our lives who we perhaps decided to dump our baggage or take our rage out on.

I'm the type to hold in my rage and let it depress me, or at least that's how I used to be. So I owed the most forgiveness to myself but I did say hurtful words to my mother before and during my recovery. I've come to realize I will always be resentful that she was not the role mother a woman/girl needs but I did eventually come to forgive her, maybe because I was fortunate enough to find a surrogate mother/friend/mentor/guide that helped me find the straight path.

I do believe forgiveness is an option not an obligation so if we choose to forgive someone or ourselves we are freed and have found another way to release our negative feelings of the past.

What are your thoughts and experiences on forgiveness?

Have you reached that stage of forgiving either yourself or your parent(s)? Or do you flat out refuse to forgive, because they don't deserve it or some other reason?