May 12, 2010

In Affirmations for Adult Children Author Rokelle Lerner writes:

"Today I will surround myself with people who value my own worth as well as their own. Even though others might not express their appreciations, still I know that the world was created for my sake too. What more personal assurance of my own belonging to the universe can I find than the fact that a divine power has placed me here and arrayed all the bounty and the beauty of the world here before me.

I feel appreciated today, not just for what I do, but for who I am. I acknowledge my abilities and talents, as well as the special essence that is me.

Today I leave behind the competitive "you" or "me" from the past. Each of us has a special place in the universe. Knowing this, I can appreciate my friends and colleagues for all that they do and all that they are. Another person's success or achievement does not diminish my own.

This day I am part of the wonderful exchange of appreciation that makes each person feel needed, wanted and important."

It really is true that in the end the race is only with ourselves and its totally useless to compare ourselves with any one else.  Every person heals at a different rate and though the pain is similar the individual ways we are wounded are just as unique. Our  progress through recovery really can only be measured by how we feel day to day and perhaps by the company we begin to attract and surround ourselves with, such as healthier  functioning people, like the people we meet in our ACA fellowships, our sponsors/counselors or in blogging communities and forums.

The bottom line is no matter where we are in our recovery, whether progress is fast or slow we are still moving forward.

Share your thoughts!


  1. I struggle with making this important enough. But I find it more and more essential as I grow older. Been in ACA 20 years and I am more reactive toward insincere, shallow people than ever before-by that I mean I can tolerate superficiality only up to a point and that denial and self sabotage are no longer real options. I get depth of emotion with most ACA'S. Its just that there arent as many ACA'S identifying themselves as ACA's and working the program.--But I also know that I "can be my own loving parent" if I stay aware and make my program a priority. I make progress always but especially lately with more stressors than I have had probably at any time of my life I see the progress that 20 non perfect years of growth have made in my life.

  2. Anonymous, I believe awareness can help us to stay on top of our recovery. That and acceptance (serenity) that we're never completely done with our healing. Interesting that there are stressors lately that you feel really put you to the test, and sounds to me you are able to measure your emotional strength by them. Good for you! and just keep going. I hope you can feel a personal sense of satisfaction in where you are today. Thanks for sharing, feel free anytime. Vanessa

  3. Hi Everyone,

    I have been in ACOA recovery for about 2 years. I grew up in a home with active alcoholism and schizophrenia. There was a lot of manipulation and dysfunction. Because of this, in my late teens/early 20's I became very competitive and had a hard time being happy for people's accomplishments, even my own. I would look around and see that things seemed to come easier for a lot of people with stable (financially and emotionally) families I had something to prove to the world, that I was not going to let my circumstances hinder my potential and I was going to soar even higher than you !..... I developed a lot of anger, bitterness, jealousy and envy and this is oddly enough what fuelled me to want to break the cycle. I put up a shield so I could let no other emotions in (sadness, empathy, and now I have forgotten how to feel.

    Ultimately, my higher power has blessed me with a great job that pays well, great friends that despite my emotions or lack thereof have stuck with me, but I think of all the work that needs to be done and all the opportunities missed and it's going to be a long journey.

  4. Advice for an adult child of an alcoholic mother?
    codependency issues

    1. Hi Rose Maria,
      Thanks for taking the time to comment. Certainlya topic to write about.
      Check back, please in two weeks and I should have information about that topic posted for you,
      Thanks, xo


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