Boundaries

In working with abuse survivors, I have often said that boundaries are where abuse starts and where, often times it can end. 

I feel it is  no different for adult children of alcoholics, adult grand children of alcoholics, and others in recovery. As we become aware of our boundaries, we are able to discern who we choose to let in and how much, and who we choose to keep out.

Boundaries leave us with a sense of empowerment and abused they leave us feeling invaded. Consequences of which our self-esteem could be lowered. The discernment of boundaries teaches us who and how to trust, again.

The challenge with boundaries is they are flexible and different for everyone who sets them and everyone who follows them.

Boundaries are rarely permanent; they adjust over time.

Boundaries are cousins of trust. Our personal borders are loosened as someone earns our trust. They are often tight even to those who may truly deserve our trust but suffer the consequences of our having been hurt too often before.

As we leave behind and step away from our addictions, possibly we are learning to trust ourselves again, flaws,warts and all. And accept ourselves, sober, aware, adult and surrendered.

I AM worthy.

When you know who you are; when your mission is clear and you burn with the inner fire of an unbreakable will; no cold can touch your heart; no deluge can dampen your purpose. You know that you are alive. --Chief Seattle